Say NO! to SM

I've been an SM girl for as long as I can remember. I love the convenience of shopping for almost everything in one place, and the fact that I can choose from a wide range of prices and quality. I love that BDO branches in the malls have weekend banking and long weekday hours. I love that both my BDO account and my SM purchases give me reward points, and that I can buy anything from their stores with them.

But you know what they say about former lovers being the worst enemies.

SM does not care that it razes trees and farm land for its malls. It doesn't care that people around them lose their livelihoods. It doesn't care that it puts its employees and residents at risk when they build on unstable and dangerous land.

I've decided that I do not want to continue financing the unconscionable and irresponsible activities of SM. Shopping in their stores stops right now, and I will be closing my BDO accounts and changing my credit card within the next few weeks.

The thing is, I'm just one person and what I'm going to do won't even be an ant bite for this behemoth. Will you boycott all SM companies with me?

This lists all the SM companies and affiliates I know. If I've missed any, please write the name of the company in the comments and I'll add it to the list.

• SM Malls
• SM Department Store
• SM Supermarket
• SM Hypermart
• SaveMore
• Makro
• Science Discovery Center
• SM Residences
• M Place
• Hamilo Coast – Pico de Loro
• Tagaytay Highlands
• Taal Vista Hotel
• SMX Convention Center
• Banco de Oro
• China Bank
• Radisson Blu Hotel Cebu
• Toy Kingdom
• Watsons Personal Care
• Baby Company
• Our Home
• Sports Central
• Ace Hardware
• Homeworld
• Kultura Pilipino
• Forever 21
• Uniqlo
• Prime Spots Inc.

The Universal Prayer

Lord, I believe in you: increase my faith.
I trust in you: strengthen my trust.
I love you: let me love you more and more.
I am sorry for my sins: deepen my sorrow.

I worship you as my first beginning,
I long for you as my last end,
I praise you as my constant helper,
and call on you as my loving protector.

Guide me by your wisdom,
correct me with your justice,
comfort me with your mercy,
protect me with your power.

I offer you, Lord, my thoughts: to be fixed on you;
my words: to have you for their theme;
my actions: to reflect my love for you;
my sufferings: to be endured for your greater glory.

I want to do what you ask of me:
in the way you ask,
for as long as you ask,
because you ask it.

Lord, enlighten my understanding,
strengthen my will,
purify my heart,
and make me holy.

Help me to repent of my past sins
and to resist temptation in the future.
Help me to rise above my human weaknesses
and to grow stronger as a Christian.

Let me love you, my Lord and my God,
and see myself as I really am:
a pilgrim in this world,
a Christian called to respect and love
all whose lives I touch,
those in authority over me
or those under my authority,
my friends and my enemies.

Help me to conquer anger with gentleness,
greed by generosity,
apathy by fervor.
Help me to forget myself
and reach out toward others.

Make me prudent in planning,
courageous in taking risks.
Make me patient in suffering,
unassuming in prosperity.

Keep me, Lord, attentive at prayer,
temperate in food and drink,
diligent in my work,
firm in my good intentions.

Let my conscience be clear,
my conduct without fault,
my speech blameless,
my life well-ordered.

Put me on guard against my human weaknesses.
Let me cherish your love for me,
keep your law,
and come at last to your salvation.

Teach me to realize that this world is passing,
that my true future is the happiness of heaven,
that life on earth is short,
and the life to come eternal.

Help me to prepare for death
with a proper fear of judgment,
but a greater trust in your goodness.
Lead me safely through death
to the endless joy of heaven.

Grant this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

~ Attributed to Pope Clement XI (23 July 1649 – 19 March 1721)

A Marinduque fisherman begins his night fishing as the sun starts to set.

Marinduque, 17 April 2010

Creating hope

I just learned about World Challenge this morning and I've just spent quite some time reading through almost their entire website. If you are despairing of the world, your government or your circumstances, then I suggest you spend some time there too. The stories are uplifting but I also found them personally challenging. There are so many ways to make a difference—and what am I doing?

While you're there, and if you read about all the projects, please vote for the one you like best. This is a competition and the winner will receive US$20,000 to plow back into the project. That's a lot. Voting will end on Sunday, November 22. I've summarized the twelve finalists below—a teaser to encourage you to go to the site.

All images and information are from the World Challenge website.

World Challenge 2008
A global competition aimed at finding projects or small businesses from around the world that have shown enterprise and innovation at a grass roots level.


Keystone Foundation
India
Keeping the ancient and sustainable tradition of the Adivasi people of Southern India, who collect honey from wild bee colonies on cliffs, alive by creating markets for wild honey


The Leakey Collection
Kenya
Gives Maasai women a sustainable income, making jewelry from an abundant native grass, without interrupting their traditional way of life


Hashoo Foundation
Pakistan
Processes, packages and sells the honey of women beekeepers in Gilgit, one of the poorest and most isolated regions in Pakistan, to high-end shops and hotels of Islamabad


UniquEco Designs Ltd.
Kenya
Cleaning the coast of East Africa from the thousands of flip-flops which wash up on shore and providing an alternative source of income for coastal communities


Oro Verde
Colombia
Producing gold without harming the rainforests of Chocó, a treasure house of biodiversity, and paying the miners fairly


Yurt Kindergartens
Kyrgyzstan
Carrying classrooms on horses and donkeys to follow the children of Kyrgyz herders and give them the chance of education


Heiveld Co-operative
South Africa
Banding together to give the small-scale farmers of Koysan a fair price for their organic, caffeine-free Roobios tea


Shanti Sewa Griha
Nepal
Building self-sufficient communities with workshops, a school and a free health clinic for leprosy victims and other social outcasts


She Hope Society
India
Bringing dignity and independence to the disabled in war-torn Kashmir through physiotherapy, corrective surgery, basic education and micro-loans


Escuela Agricola
Paraguay
Educating the smallholder-farmers of Paraguay, one of the poorest countries in Latin America where two-thirds of the land belongs to two percent of the population, about the latest organic techniques and general life skills such as literacy, numeracy, sexual health and saving money


Hawkers Market Girl Centre
Kenya
Providing education and income-generating skills to girls from Nairobi's slums


Oficinas Querô
Brazil
A film academy which gives the young people in the slums of Santos have a shot at a better future

Of blogs, time, and family

First of all, I would like to apologize for not logging in for a couple of weeks. When my sister told me around mid-October that she and my three nieces were coming to Manila for a week-long visit, I decided that I wanted to spend all that time with them and I asked for a vacation leave from work. Which meant that I had to make sure that I tied as many loose ends as I could before my leave started. Then I also had to have the bathrooms in the house repaired—something I'd been putting off for some time—which meant going out to buy all the materials and fixtures needed then scheduling the plumber.

The week that they were here was wonderful! At least, for me. I can only hope that 'my' girls had a great time too.

I'm back at work now, and of course I'm having to catch up with everything.

And not just at work, but also at home. My clothes are just stacked up on a dresser and I have yet to store the mattresses properly (I wrap them up in black plastic to keep them safe from pests, dust and humidity—perennial problems in Manila). I've also just realized that it's already November and I better start giving away the early Christmas presents which I bought back in February (gosh, how time flies!).

Finally, I also have to catch up with my blogs and those of my friends.


I've been pretty faithful in posting to My Manila (though I haven't been able to respond to any of the comments there these past couple of weeks either), which is now part of the City Daily Photo portal, but I've slowed down quite terribly with Happy at Home. I've never considered myself a writer and I actually started Happy at Home as a challenge to myself, aside from wanting—no, needing—to share what I've learned over the years. But generating ideas for blog topics can be time-consuming, sometimes I need to research, and I still don't find writing any easier even after a year of semi-regular writing. A photo blog is so much easier to maintain. The text can be minimal and it won't matter much, and the photo itself gives my writing focus.

Anyway, I hope I can get back on track soon—with all aspects of my life, not just my blogs. I seriously have to rethink how to spend the limited time I have to myself. I guess it's something we all have to go through every now and then. And that's good.

Thank you, Ralph.

I've never met Ralph, except online. He came to Manila a month ago, but I didn't get to meet him then. Yet when he sent my husband a box of books and videos, one book was especially for me:

My first reaction was, "Now why would I want to read about life in an Iowa farm during the depression?" I mean, everything about it seems so far removed from my life and experiences—Iowa, a farm, the depression in the 1930s… And it was even more confusing because stuck on the book was this note:

Okay, now my thought became "What has all of this to do with blogging?"

Then I read the blurb at the back of the book:

I tell of a time, a place, and a way of life long gone but still indelible in my memory. For many years I have had the urge to describe that treasure trove, lest it vanish forever. So, partly in response to the basic human instinct to share feelings and experiences, and partly for the sheer joy and excitement of it all, I report on my early life. It was quite a romp…

So begins Mildred Kalish's story of growing up on her grandparents' Iowa farm during the depths of the Great Depression. This, however, is not a tale of suffering but the story of a childhood that "built character, fed the intellect, and stirred the imagination."

Filled with stories of a family that gave its members a remarkable legacy of kinship, kindness, and remembered pleasures, and brimming with recipes and how-tos for everything from catching and skinning a rabbit to preparing homemade skin and hair beautifiers, apple cream pie, and the world's best head cheese, Little Heathens portrays a world of hard work tempered by simple rewards—and shows how the right stuff can make even the bleakest of times seem like "quite a romp."

Now, I understand. And for someone I have never met, Ralph seems to understand me better than many people I interact with on a daily basis.

Thank you, Ralph.

Sunday evening blues

Every now and then (like right now) on Sundays, as soon as the sun sets and it gets dark, I start getting depressed. It's a combination of a lot of things, most beginning with "I did not…"

• do all the chores I needed to do
• do all the other things I wanted to do
• get enough sleep or rest
• read all the blogs, newspapers and book chapters I wanted to read

Weekends are really just not enough to do all these (especially when you only get half of Saturday off from work). But what really gets me depressed is the fact that I only have one night's sleep separating me from another thankless week at work. When I was younger, I felt the same way about school. I think that's why I always end up sleeping very late Sunday nights—you know, trying to keep Monday morning at bay. Because when you sleep, you don't feel time passing and next thing you know it's Monday. How juvenile can one get, right?

I'm not normally this glum, thank goodness. I don't like feeling this way at all—it's tiring and it makes it harder to accomplish anything. There's still some chocolate-filled bonbons in the refrigerator. Time to have a couple, I think.

To those in the same hemisphere as the Philippines: I hope you have a wonderful week. And to those on the other hemisphere: have a peaceful and restful Sunday.


Public domain photo of "Sunset Over the Sahara Desert" by NASA from www.solarviews.com

Reflections on respect

"Respect has to be earned."

How many times have you heard this statement, or a variation of it? How many times have you yourself said it?

I agree with it, of course. I cannot expect people to respect me if I am not honest, don't do my work well, am not trustworthy, don't have integrity, and so forth. I cannot expect respect from other people if I am not worthy of respect.

But what about the respect that I give other people? Do they have to be worthy of respect before I show them respect? Do they have to conform to my standards of what I deem to be a person worthy of respect before I treat them with respect?

This is where I begin to have problems with the statement above. I've heard it used too many times as an excuse for rude, discourteous and condescending behavior.

"I do not respect you. Therefore, I will treat you like dirt. I am going to talk to you like you are the stupidest, most ignorant person on earth."

I believe that even if a person really is stupid and ignorant, that's no excuse to be rude. Even if the other person is rude, that's still no excuse for you to be rude to her.

I believe that everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect, no matter how flawed they are.

I know it's difficult. I find it difficult. But the beautiful thing about it is, if you behave as if that obnoxious/difficult/stupid person you have to deal with is worthy of respect, she begins to believe it and act it. Until one day, she really becomes that person worthy of respect.


I hope that made sense. My thoughts have been in such a messy jumble for quite some time now.

Blessed silence

And silence, like a poultice, comes
To heal the blows of sound.
~ Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. (1809–1894)

We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature—trees, flowers, grass—grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence… We need silence to be able to touch souls.
~ Mother Teresa


And so I go this weekend to revel in silence, after the deafening noise of the world. To gather the little pieces of me that I have had to carve out and distribute to those who needed it. To refresh my spirit and renew my strength. To be with my Lord and Father who has patiently been waiting for me to again look deep into His eyes.

The view from the Canossa House of Spirituality in Tagaytay City,
where our retreat group will be staying.

Photo of Taal Lake and Volcano by Lorimer Black

Näiveté, part 1

I do not understand why some people always think that they're right and others are always wrong.

I do not understand how someone can harm a helpless, innocent child.

I do not understand why people don't take pride in their work and do it the best they can.

I do not understand why it is so hard for some people to say "It's my fault. I'm sorry."

I do not understand why people can't be kind to one another.

You've got mail.

You know how a lot of people have quotations, from the Bible or from a favorite book, as part of their email signature? In the office, I have quite a few (aside from my official signature, which I use only for people who don't know me yet), and almost each one is instructional. I set my email program to send them out randomly, but sometimes, I choose a specific one for a particular person if there's some attitude or behavior that I think needs a little influencing in the right direction.

I got them from all sorts of places. Some are quotations, some from those email messages that get passed all over the world, some I made up myself.

So without further ado, here they are:

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

'Tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.
Samuel Johnson

...when you are tense or anxious or hurrying,
you lose half your strength.
It takes calm to conquer a mountain.
Isabel Allende, "City of the Beasts"

In any situation, there is always one thing you can change: yourself.

Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.
Michael Pollan, "Unhappy Meals"
The New York Times, 28 January 2007

It is sometimes a mistake to climb;
it is always a mistake never even to make the attempt.
If you do not climb, you will not fall. This is true.
But is it that bad to fail, that hard to fall?
Morpheus in "Fear of Falling," The Sandman: Fables & Reflections

Seek first to understand then be understood.
When both parties are trying to be understood, neither is really listening.
Habit 5
Stephen Covey, "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People"

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.
The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference.
The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference.
And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.
Elie Wiesel in U.S. News and World Report, 27 October 1986

Leading others well begins with leading yourself well.

Authentic knowledge of self. Acceptance. Awareness. Presence. Courtesy.

A person who is nice to you but is rude to the waiter is not a nice person.

It's not about you.

The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You don't blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.
Psychologist Albert Ellis

Talk slowly but think quickly.

It's not who you are underneath, it's what you do
that defines you.
Rachel in "Batman Begins"

If something's worth doing, then it's worth doing well.

Be where you are.